Mothering The New Mother

It's 4 A.M., your one week-old infant is crying inconsolably, your breasts are engorged and painful from the arrival of your milk, you're sleep-deprived, and your hormones are unstable and unmanageable... Your husband does his best to help, but his tail is tucked farther between his legs with every snappy comment you make or every time your burst into tears for no reason. He is also sleep-deprived and grumpy. Where is the magic in this thing called 'parenting'? When will it get better? What are we supposed to do?

The postpartum period is definitely not a smooth ride, especially when the only help the new parents have is each other (and sometimes, there is only one parent present, making things even more tiresome). There are so many different challenges a new mother faces between her new mom-bod that is healing from being ripped, cut, and/or stretched open, navigating how to breastfeed and care for an infant, making sure she stays fed and hydrated, repelling the well-meaning advice from friends and family, and making sure her marriage doesn't combust (if there is one).

There is a solution to the madness: a postpartum doula.

Postpartum doulas are birth workers who specialize in caring for the mother after childbirth. Birth doulas are also popular, but they focus on the actual labor and delivery. Most doulas offer both birth and postpartum services.

In the postpartum period, a doula can assist the new mother with household chores, meal prep, sibling care, lactation counseling, newborn care, and some even offer bodywork. The doulas are available on an hourly basis and charge anywhere from $15-50/hr depending on the services being performed. Their mission is to make sure that the new mother is being cared for and allowed to rest and recuperate.

For low income mothers, there is still help available. Many doulas will offer discounted or pro bono services while they gain experience and finish certifications. A doula is an essential piece of the childbearing experience, regardless of your primary prenatal health provider. If you're worried about being able to afford a doula, and you don't qualify for their sliding scale, it is completely acceptable (and encouraged) to ask for help from your community via crowdfunding or gift certificates in lieu of traditional baby shower gifts, especially if you're able to get baby's essentials secondhand. Every mother deserves care and nurturing in the postpartum period.